Friday, August 3, 2012

Packing With the Poors, Part I

After the abhorrent summer Hamptons Guide, goop has rebounded with a fascinating expose on how to shove clothes into a suitcase. Step aside Christiane Amanpour, this right here is truly riveting stuff.

We learned that when Gwynnie travels she makes like a dirty hippie and brings but a carry on so she doesn’t have to check bags, or apparently, have clean clothes after a day. Personally, I refuse to travel with any less than the entire back catalogue of Louis Vuitton luggage. And I never check anything either, darlings. #1 I always fly private and #2 checking bags is what unpaid interns are for. Let them earn their j-school credits the honest way, by having to succumb to full body cavity searches for the rest of their natural born lives because they unknowingly smuggled your "baby powder" through customs.  Now, I know what you are thinking, that you could never do that but trust me, interns are just as easy to get as they are to replace because they selfishly got themselves detained in a Taiwanese prison camp. I mean, if Sonya from The Real Housewives of Poor Side of New York can have four at any given time so can you. So. Can. You!

Now, as I am one to chair many a charity board whilst never donating any of my own actual money, or rather, my ex-husband’s money,  I thought I would take this opportunity to do a service for the lesser human beings out there aka the poors. While you are never to address me in public, or private, actually don't even think about me; over this course of this coming week, I will take each of goop’s travel tips and teach you how to travel stylishly from you trailer home to your vacation trailer home. Enjoy! Then get a fucking job.

                                                goop                                                                       trailer trash

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