Friday, September 21, 2012

A Reading From the Gospel According to Goop, Rich White Bitch 1:10

To answer your first query - perhaps, yes, you do look a wee bit old. Okay, well, maybe you look old as balls. Specifically, Gene Hackman's old balls. Which are pretty rich balls but not anything anyone really wants to look at for extended period of time. 

Secondly, yes, typically an actress is required to convey emotion but ya know what? Why start now? Your degree from the Kristen Stewart School of Acting Stiff & Sour-mouthed (KSS ASS) has gotten you so far! Don't break a winning formula with "actual acting talent." Leave that to poor people who weren't born with a silver SAG card in their mouth. 

And about that last, obviously I think you are a true and natural beauty but others have compared your looks to a blank sheet of white paper and as you know scissors always beats paper so...ya know...snip snip bitch.

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